We are nearing December, and it has been a moment since I’ve felt accomplished by something. Naturally, I felt that I failed in some way. I have seemed stagnant to myself, as if I am stuck in perpetual waiting on things to never quite happen- a dog chasing its tail in circles. So, now is the end of this blog, for now at least.
In my time writing on this platform, I have been able to have some amazing conversation and invigorating messages from people I don’t even know. Ultimately, this blog began as a simple goal for myself in 2016, and served as a sounding board of thoughts or lessons. It fulfilled its purpose, and winding down for the rest of this season, I have a new goal for December. In my head it goes something like, “to be reminded of myself”.
I know it doesn’t make much sense, but to me, it is a sense of progression. I have done alright this year, being both the happiest and saddest year of my life. The most change I’ve ever experience has happened in the past 11 months, yet ,still at the end of it all, I feel as if I’ve moved an inch. It’s incredible that after a year of laughing, crying and moving so much, I am not proud of myself for just making it through. I’ve poured out so much of myself into everything other than myself, I’ve exhausted every avenue of joyful loneliness. The month of December, I will not be dormant, but I will be self reflective. I’m disconnecting from this blog and my pursuance of progression of everything except my spiritual walk.
I will continue my thoughts in a different way going into the next year, I just haven’t decided what that goal will be yet. I want express my gratefulness to my friends, family and randoms for giving the time to read my thoughts on life. I cannot explain how meaningful your thoughts are as well.